
Hey! I hope all is well with you.
I want to talk about our actions and inactions in regard to the impact they can have on others in spite of and sometimes due to our intentions.
So, I had a recent (somewhat prolonged) interaction that had me journaling to release my emotions and frustrations in the midst of it, so I decided to turn my ponderings, revelations, and analysis of the situation into a blog post. My hope is that if you’ve been on either side of impact, you can better engage the encounters if you so happen to experience them ever again. Which, if you keep living, you will…
Intentions Don’t Erase Impact
So boom! We do something or don’t do something, just because you didn’t mean to hurt someone doesn’t mean the pain disappears. That’s not how life—or emotions—work. Whether it’s a close friend, a spouse, or even a coworker, your intentions don’t erase the impact of your actions. And let’s be clear: you don’t get to dictate how someone processes what you did or didn’t do.
People have a right to their feelings. You may not like their reaction, but that discomfort that you’re feeling is yours to handle, not theirs. Growth starts when we stop expecting others to handle our missteps in ways that make us feel comfortable.
Impact > Intent
To dig deeper in the subject matter, intentional or not, your actions leave a mark. Whether it’s a broken promise, a dismissive comment, or simply not following through on something, the other person feels the weight of it. Instead of focusing on defending your intent—“I didn’t mean it like that”—ask yourself, “How can I acknowledge the impact?”
And don’t rush someone’s healing process because you’ve moved on. Healing is not about convenience or meeting someone else’s timeline. If they’re still feeling the sting, that’s their reality. Emotional intelligence (something we all need to strive for) is understanding this and giving them the space to process without judgment.
Disrespect Cuts Deep
There’s a different kind of hurt that comes with being dismissed. When someone blatantly disregards an agreement or brushes off how you feel, it’s not just frustrating—it’s disrespectful. And disrespect hits differently when it comes from someone who knows you well or should at least know better.
What I’ve learned is this: you don’t owe anyone the reaction they want from you. Sometimes silence is better than confrontation, especially when you know they aren’t ready to hear you. Your peace matters, and boundaries are your responsibility to protect.
The Journey of Healing
Let’s be real—healing while you’re still living in the hurt is exhausting. It’s frustrating to feel like people expect you to be “over it” before you’ve even had the chance to process it. But here’s the truth: healing takes time. It’s not about pretending you’re fine for the sake of others. It’s about allowing yourself the space to work through the emotions at your own pace.
One day, you’ll wake up and realize you’ve left the frustration behind. But until then, honor where you are. Let yourself feel it. Let yourself grow through it. And don’t let anyone tell you how long that should take.
Life will test your patience and your boundaries. Some people won’t get it. They’ll dismiss your feelings, rush your process, or expect you to engage with them on their terms. But here’s the truth: you don’t owe anyone emotional convenience.
Whether you’re the one causing the impact or feeling the weight of it, accountability and grace are key. Growth happens when we recognize that intentions don’t always align with impact—and that’s okay. What’s not okay is ignoring the opportunity to learn, grow, and do better.
Until my next ponderings, have a great day and strive to be better.
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